Typing the URL of this page into my browser is strange, now. It's no longer familiar, and it's not something I want to type anymore. I've watched the number of readers dwindle steadily since the start of the summer, and the number of hits decrease still more rapidly since then. I doubt anybody reads this. Not that I ever wrote it to be read, but I'm out of things to write and there's nothing here for anyone to read.
I want to say goodbye, I want this to feel significant. But it doesn't. Maybe it's just that I'm so tired right now, and so overworked, but to me, right now there is no such thing as significant. I don't want to care, even though I know I have to. So maybe if I tough it out, and push through the apathy...maybe I'll get somewhere and start caring again. I hope I will, at least.
Nobody really uses blogger anyway. Everyone is on tumblr. Even the people who did at one point maintain a blog with blogger have moved on to tumblr. I don't like it as much. It's nice for collections of things you like, but that's never been the sort of thing I was interested in. I didn't start a blog to post pictures I like or copy other people's brilliant ideas. I really just needed somewhere to write, and wanted someone to read it.
Now none of that is relevant. I still don't want to collect other people's ideas, but I'm also out of things to write. I want things to hurt, I want to be pushed somewhere, I would like something to worry about, think about, anything. I'm tired of the only things I can do being work and more work and not enough sleep. Maybe it's just that this is a bad morning. Or maybe I really do need this to throw down the remnants of my angst. Whatever. I give up.
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