We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives

Do you believe in purpose?  Do you have a purpose?  I've been trying to answer that question for the past few days with particular intensity.  Someone has taken it upon themselves to chalk bible verses all over the sidewalks around where I live.  Which made me wonder about religion and purpose and things of that sort.  On top of that, there is a man outside of a building I walk through fairly regularly who routinely preaches.  Something he said once stuck with me for some reason.  He talked about the worthiness of his cause because of all of the people who had given their lives for it, going so far as to ask if anyone had died for the cause of evolution.

Which made me think immediately "evolution isn't a cause."  It is, formally, a theory.  Informally, it is an explanation of how humans came about.  But in no way is the theory of evolution a cause.  Did it have to be?  What changed if it was?  I (finally) started reading The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins about a month ago.  I didn't get very far because I had to go back to work shortly thereafter, but I read far enough to get the gist--we are survival machines, nothing more.  We have been "programmed" so to speak by genes to ensure their longevity, their existence through time.

Is that a purpose?  Is my purpose in this world to pass these genes on to offspring and increase their chances of survival?  It's rather ironic, in my mind at least, that something as existential as the idea of purpose could be defined by something so primal as survival.  So I'm not sure this justifies it as a purpose at all.  And it certainly doesn't make it any more of a cause.  It's human nature to look for a reason, a point.  It's gotten civilization so far...but I feel like we might be hitting the boundary where it is no longer reasonable to ask the question "why?"

I know many religious individuals who are driven and passionate and use their faith to motivate and propel them forward.  I also know atheists who are no less driven or passionate, who find a source for this motivation within themselves.  Is a purpose, a cause, essential for success?  I don't think so.  But even those who don't have religious motivation often want to make the world a better place or help humanity.  People with that sort of motivation make me question my own abilities.

I've never had a purpose.  Any aspirations toward success were entirely selfish.  It was a desire to see myself succeed.  Never once did I say "I want to go into this field because I want to help humanity/save the world/make things better."  I went into this field because I really fucking love it.  Enough to use profanity in an otherwise clean post.  This work fascinates me.  I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing, even through the tedious days and the sleepless nights.  This work makes me happy.  And yet, looking at people around me with their visions and causes, I can't help but think I'm doing something wrong.  After all, aren't I supposed to be trying to improve the human condition?

I had that drilled into my head for a few years.  And I wonder why some truly brilliant individuals put so much effort into ingraining that thought if it's not legitimately important.  But I never wanted to change the world.  I just want to live my life in a way that makes me happy.  Is it wrong then, that I don't give money to the poor or build orphanages in third world countries or educate the next generation of so-called world leaders and brilliant minds?

They tell you that you can do whatever you want with your life, but if you're not concerned about everyone around you and you don't live for the purpose of making the world a better place, it feels like you're doing something wrong.  Please, leave your thoughts if you have them.  Talk to me about this.  Because I really, honestly want to know how others feel about purpose (or lack thereof).