What we are is the sum of a thousand lies.

The more time I spend thinking about people, the more I find myself hating them.  I often joke about becoming a monk in the mountains of Mongolia or something, but I'm starting to wonder if this isn't something I should start considering seriously.  None of it matters.  Everyone is so busy fighting for something, against something, because of something, and none of it matters.  I don't need a deity to believe in or a great cause to live for or an excellent life.  I just want to be left the fuck alone.

I hate that nobody knows what to do with themselves without a smartphone or a laptop or this tablet shit anymore.  I hate that nobody remembers what it's like to be alone, or particularly how it feels to be happy alone.  Suddenly, it's not normal if you want to spend time by yourself...something is clearly wrong with you if you don't want to spend every hour of your life surrounded by people.  Everyone is so busy trying to tell everyone else how to live, and I just want to be left alone.

I'm in no way perfect.  I am judgmental and hypocritical and just as dependent on technology as the rest of the world.  But I'm just tired of having all of this shoved down my throat.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm not allowed to not give a flying fuck.  And part of it is just that I'm tired on the whole, because I haven't been doing a very good job of keeping up with my life lately.  But that's my fault.  And I am complaining about it on the internet, in a mostly anonymous fashion.  So if you don't like it, then don't fucking read it.  If you really don't like it, tell me to fuck off, and I'll disappear from your screen.  I'll move these words into a paper form where the metaphorical ink bleeding from my brain will become physical ink pouring from a pen. 

Society.  Humanity.  Sweeping generalizations.  I just don't care.  Everything is going to hell in much the same way it has been going to hell for the entirety of human history.  Maybe it's happening more quickly, but hey, the universe is expanding more slowly, which balances it out, right?  Not at all.  But again, I don't care.  Is apathy a disease?  Because if it is, I've caught quite the awful case.  Oops.  That seems to be the case with a number of diseases or not-quite diseases in my life...including, ironically enough, hypochondria.  I don't think that's a disease, but that's okay.

I think this has been enough rambling for one day, right?  I'm not sure what more there is to say.  I'm out of words.  I don't know if I want to say things or shut up forever.  Really, I just don't know.