It was so much a bigger deal last year. Leaving, I mean. This year it really doesn't change much. I wonder if I've simply become this much more cynical lately or if I simply have a different agenda, a different set of thoughts this year that makes me worry less. But it just hasn't bothered me at all. Okay, the end is the end. No big deal. That's how I see it right now.
I guess part of it is a matter of certainties and uncertainties about the future. I said it before, I'll say it again...sometimes relationships act as anchors. Even if everything else in the world goes wrong and ends up backward and upside down, you'll have the certainty of the relationship. That's what I didn't have last year that I do have this year.
On the other hand, the future right now has many more uncertainties before me than it did a year ago. I knew what I'd be coming back to, where I'd be going, what I'd be doing, who I'd see. That's not the case right now. A lot more lies open before me. But at the same time, I do have the stability of having someone I love to lean on. Which makes it all feel a little bit better.
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