I'm here right now. And here is nothing like home. It's nothing that I can even refer to as resembling home in the least, not right now, anyway. With time, it will become home, but that takes time and different factors than are present here. The silence in the room is oppressive. It's the forced sort of silence that comes around when people have nothing to say to each other.
And that dampens my mood. Even though it's only for a day, and I don't really have to say anything, it's still oppressive. And that frustrates me. I hate the fact that I don't have anything to say to this person, not that it's surprising or anything, but it still bothers me. I know it shouldn't. But it does. That's what I'm worried about for the future--ending up in a room where I just can't carry a conversation with the other person.
Things like that, just small things that don't mean anything, really, ruin days. Right now my day isn't ruined, but it's almost frightening to spend this much time in a room with someone I can't communicate with at all. Even logistical questions become painful at that point. I know I should worry less, and should go do more productive things, but it's frustrating and not having someone I'm close to to talk to is just exhausting for me.
But oh well, I have nothing more to say, really, so I'll stop. I don't know when I will next be able to blog because my internet access will be sporadic at best for the next two weeks. I feel like this may be taking a slightly muted tone, probably because my own mood is dampened at present. But that's okay. It happens. Good night.
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