Concern

Steps in the cold, step after step after step.  Feet drumming a rhythm in the night.  It's not really that cold, but I'm one of those people who is cold pretty much everywhere.  If it's below seventy, I'm almost certainly cold.  If it's between seventy and eighty, I'm probably still more comfortable in a light hoodie.  It's just the sort of person I am.  I'm also stubborn.  And moody.  I could blame that on congenital defects, but I'm old enough that things like that don't really apply as much anymore.  

I can no longer blame things on my parents or the way I was raised or the way I was born.  Or maybe I can still blame things in that direction, but that's not the way I am.  It's not how I grew up.  I was raised to be confident and independent.  So the confidence thing I might still have issues with, but I think I've got the independence down.  I'm good at it.  I know how to take care of myself and make decisions for myself.

That doesn't make me feel any better about my life, though.  I still feel like it slips out of my control more often than not.  I don't know how to handle this life thing, this taking care of people thing.  And a little bit taking care of myself, but mostly other people.  I care too much to just let things go and fall apart, but I don't know well enough how to hold them together.