Disagreement

We disagree on this.  To a point, I think we always have.  And I certainly think we always will.  I don't mean to be rude.  I don't try to brag.  When I talk about things like this, I'm just saying what I think, how I feel, how it affects me, and that's that.  You know I don't get strongly opinionated on anything terribly often, but I've told you already, when I do find something I believe in strongly, I am going to stick to it.  And this is one of those things because it's shaped the person I am so much.

I know I'm a pushy person.  Occasionally, anyway.  I try not to be because I know how annoying it can get and how annoying I can get.  So I generally try to avoid it.  This sounds so hypocritical, so moronically juvenile.  I really don't know what to say because I know I sound stupid in rambling like this.  I'm pushy and bull-headed and generally foolish.  It's moments like this I realize it and that bothers me about myself.  It was over a year ago that you pointed out how I constantly talk about changing things about myself but never do it.

So here I am again, in that same boat.  Things I don't like and never change.  I like to think I've changed some things, have gotten better, have figured out something, anything to get better.  I wonder if I'm not just flattering myself.  Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe I'm still the same idiot I was years ago.  But does it matter?  We all die in the end.  But now I'm getting off on a tangent, and an irrelevant one at that.  I really don't know what to say anymore.  I've gone from thinking on personal stubbornness to the meaning of life and that's not generally a good tangent for me.  So I'll cut it short now and let you all rest, for those few who still read my blog (I'm surprised such humans still exist).