Emptiness

I guess I should blog now, shouldn't I?  Not that I know what to say.  As usual.  I'm not in a bad mood or anything, I'm just not in a good one, either.  And that's a problem, because most people don't seem to see the world the same way I do.  Most people understand it as you're either in a good mood or a bad one.  There's no in-between, no neutral mood.  It seems that most people interpret their emotions such that if they are not happy, they are most certainly sad.  Or on the sad side of things, at least.

One can be more or less happy or sad, but there's no true neutrality, no real in-between.  I don't see it that way, though.  I don't believe in black and white.  I live in shades of grey.  Things are harder that way because when there is no right or wrong, it's a lot harder to just pick a side or make a decision.  I've heard it said that people who think in shades of grey are more complicated, more difficult, that it is far harder to affect their minds or influence their decisions.  I consider that flattery to a point, because it was spoken in light of a comment that I don't see things in black and white, but regardless, it was said by someone I consider to be fairly intelligent.

Maybe that's why depression is such a problem these days.  Because not feeling anything is assumed to be a bad thing, when it isn't necessarily so.  Certainly, such as thing exists as a painful emptiness, a sad one, and while people may argue that it's a particular feeling--sadness or pain--I don't think it is.  I see it, rather, as a flavor of the emptiness.  These are ones that occur because of sadness or pain, not in concert with them.  But at the same time, there is the emptiness that came from bliss, from peace, from calm.  Feeling nothing isn't a bad thing.  It's just something different, that's all.

We live in a world full of overstimulating objects, people, experiences, sensations.  If we don't hear the constant buzz of electronics, we are confused.  If we are not constantly watching a talking head on the television screen, we are lonely.  Not all of us, sure, but many.  We've become too accustomed to constantly being assaulted by sensations and converting them into perceptions that we don't know what to do when they're no longer there.

I am empty right now.  That's not necessarily bad.  It doesn't mean it has to be good though, either.  It simply is.  Just as I simply am.  Which I am perfectly okay with.  I don't need any more than that.