Untitled

"I love you"


I didn't say
"your life would be so much easier if you didn't"
or
"you deserve to find someone better than this"
or even
"I'm sorry"

I just said
"I love you too"


~


To be fair, I could have said any of them.  None of them were lies.  And in the moment, not one was more true than any of the others.  But only in the moment.  See, maybe the reason I said what I did was because I knew it would hurt less than all the rest, because I knew that it would be easier to say the last thing that came to mind than any of the rest.

In the end though, it's also the most honest thing I could have said.

It's the only one of the above that I consistently mean, that I always feel.  Even though I get down on myself surprisingly often, and want to lash out with hurtful replies and express in poorly-chosen words my frustrations, the majority of the time, I don't.  The majority of the time, the only way I could think to respond to that would be by saying "I love you too."

Maybe I chose what I said for the wrong reasons.  Maybe it's a way of thinking I shouldn't have.  But no matter why I said it, I have no doubt that it was the right choice.  Because more than anything else, I love you.