Reasonable

Maybe I'm finally starting to believe it again.  Maybe I'm finally coming around to seeing that everything is going to be okay.  Because goodness knows that wasn't the case yesterday.  I fell apart.  I figure my blog post didn't give any of that away, or at least that's what I'm hoping, because if it did, then I really fail at self-control.  At this point though, I'm alright.  It took a couple of hours for me to get to this point, but I am firm now.  I am alright.  I will be okay.

The question remains of what is going to happen.  Of what I can do about this.  Because right now, everything is resting on my shoulders.  A lot is up to me.  And all of it will play out fairly shortly.  In the meantime, though, I still have to wait.  I have to focus my mind on other things and prepare as best as I can.  So I'm back to deep breaths.  In a week, all of this will be over, ideally.  Or perhaps it won't.  At the very least, I know I'm going to make it to the end of this.

I'll figure this out.  I'll be alright.  I'm okay.  I'm starting to believe this again.  It could be worse.  It could be a lot worse.   Knowing that, and having thought that it was yesterday, makes me feel better about this right now.  Things happen.  Sometimes they're good, sometimes they're bad.  This may have been one of the latter, but I can fix it.  I can make this better.  So I'm going to.  I'm getting better.  I think.  I hope.

Anyhow, I'll possibly have something more eloquent to say on the subject when it's all over.  Once I get past it, I know I'll be better for it.  What I have to worry about right now is just getting through it.  So that's what I'm doing right now.  But I'm okay.  It took a bit, but I am.  I'll figure it out.  I'll get past it.  For now, it's back to deep breaths.  It will all be alright.  It will.