Rest

I guess this is it then, pretty much the end.  It's not the end in the same way I meant it that night one year, six months, and six days ago (I shouldn't remember it, but I do).  But it is, nonetheless, an end of sorts.  One that most people think to be significantly more important than I do.  No matter how significant I do or do not consider this whole ending business to be, it is, nonetheless, a change.

And I hold changes in very high regard.  Much higher regard than endings.  Arguably, every ending is a change in and of itself, and therefore all endings simply fall into the category of changes.  But I don't think I see it that way because endings carry not only a different connotation, but also a different sense of finality.  It's like you can't go back at all after you've hit an ending, but you still have the potential to reverse things after what I classify as simply a change.

I don't know what happens after this.  I don't know where any of this goes or what happens.  I'm nervous about this weekend, and about the weekend after that, and everything in between, and everything after that.  I'm generally a fairly anxious person.  I'm not much good at really keeping calm, although I'm awfully good at faking it.  So I stress and worry about anything and everything.  I got used to my life this way.  It's worked well enough thus far, I guess.