Mirrors

I've realized lately that every time I look in a mirror lately, I do it in order to find flaws.  Or rather, that's not why I look in the mirror initially.  It may be because I'm going out and I need to make sure my hair isn't sticking up at odd angles.  Or maybe it's because I feel something bleeding on my face and would like to know what it is and how I can make it stop.  Sometimes it's as simple as washing my hands or brushing my teeth and being in front of the mirror that sets it off.

But as soon as I see my reflection, my eyes immediately start scanning for flaws, problems.  Maybe it's a strand of hair that's too long or a small scab on my chin or an eyelash growing at the wrong angle.  And if I don't see anything immediately, I come up with things to find.  It's just the way I am.  I don't know when it started or why, but it's almost compulsive now.  It's extremely hard for me not to do it.

...And somewhere in there I lost my train of thought.  I think it might have had a bit more to do with hypochondria and how I'm an idiot for thinking I have every possible mental problem in the book (alright not all of them...then watch it turn out to be the ones I skipped over immediately).  Right, that should be fixed.  What I really need is to just have some work to do, because when I have serious work to do, I don't have the time for petty obsessions like my hypochondria.  I'll work on that.