Yet Again

I'm back to having nothing to say.  I don't want to write.  I have had a day that has been far from the best, I've been stupid and damn, I don't care.  Whatever.  I don't want to think, I don't want to write, and I don't want to fix things.  I don't even know if there are things to fix, my own self-mutilated self aside.  That's more dramatic than it needs to be and not really accurate.

I'm back to filling space.  I know this is stupid of me.  I'm falling behind in everything and when I fall behind, it's easier for me to drop things instead of trying to fix them.  I don't know how to fix things so I drop them.  I let them go.  The reason I don't fix things is that I never let myself get to that point.  If something breaks, I let it go.  I try to avoid breaking things because I'm really, really bad at fixing them.

I think that whole second paragraph was just me repeating the same thing over and over again.  As I mentioned, I have nothing to say.  I don't want to write or talk or do much of anything.  I'm just fine sitting in my own little bubble, reading and watching things and just not thinking.  I'm not good at thinking.  I sometimes try to avoid it even though I know I shouldn't.  Oh well.