In Error

I'm so scared that this is the wrong thing to do.  Or rather, the wrong thing to let you do.  My choice in the matter really, well, isn't, because I already knew what I was going to do and there is no way it would change.  But you have options.  Arguably so do I, but my mind was made up and I'm sorry, but even you couldn't change it.  If I told you not to, would you listen?

It was always a nice thought when it was just a possibility.  Because it was only that, a chance, something to hope for, a ray of light in the dimness of the future.  The thing is though, it's no longer just a possibility.  It appears to be quite the likely outcome.  And while that's exactly what I want, I'm still afraid.  I'm afraid that this is the wrong decision for you, even though it's what you seem to want right now.

More than that though, I'm scared of what happens if things fall apart between us.  Because this would mean it's something that really went wrong and it can't just be blamed on the distance or the different living situations or whatever the hell else.  And then you're stuck making your way out of a situation you weren't even considering in the money.  I'm terrified that if I mess something up, if it all goes downhill, then it's going to be completely my fault that you have to figure out the costs of it, in more senses than one.

I'm apprehensive.  That's probably the best way to put this.  I'm excited, yes, absolutely.  I'm afraid of showing it in case it influences you or leads you to a decision you don't really want to make.  But at the same time that I'm so excited, I'm also terrified that this isn't going to end well for either of us.  Especially for you, given that you are the one giving up so much.  I just hope everything works out for the best.  I'm really sorry if it doesn't.