You, Me, Us, Why

Just talk to me.  Please talk to me.  Say something, anything.  Give me something to respond to.  Let me help.  I want to help.  Because you remind me of me and you remind me of someone who is not me last year and you remind me of things I know and remember and in a really odd way almost miss.  Thinking back on it is odd.  Last year was weird and full of bad decisions and odd selections and long, long hugs.  I miss those hugs.  But that was a different time and a different person and even I'm not the same anymore.

I just want to help because I'm sitting here watching it all fall apart.  I don't want to see it fall apart because I can imagine what would happen.  So someone was right, this is playing god.  No matter whether we do anything or not, we are still playing god because we know what happens, we can see where this goes.  It's not just you, I see it too.  Sometimes, I see different things, or have slightly different thoughts on the matter, but I see it.  I can see how they're falling apart and collapsing and I want to stop that.

To a point, I know how to.  It starts with a conversation.  It always does.  Or sometimes it's more than one conversation, but it always has to start with one.  That's how it started with us, anyway.  And somehow it's led to this.  But I'm afraid to start.  I'm afraid to be active because what if it's overstepping my bounds?  What if it's going too far and being disrespectful and leading things to fall apart even faster than they would otherwise?

I'm sorry to have to say this, but I'm going to be honest, brutally honest.  It's broken.  And something would have to change to fix it.  Unless it changes, it is going to fall apart.  I can see it without a doubt.  That makes me sad because I don't want it to, because I don't want to see people who are so familiar to me hurt in that way, but that's the way I see it going if it continues as it is.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I hope I'm wrong.  I wish that everything would be clean and sweet and wonderful, but I have a feeling that it's not going to be. 

I want to say something.  I really want to say something.  But I don't know what to say and I have no idea where to start.  So please, talk to me.  Say something.  Ask for help if that's what you want.  And if it's not, if you don't want it, if you want to just slowly fade away and disappear and get lost in hurt, then alright.  I'll step away.  Because I can understand that.  I may not like it, but I can understand it, and I'm willing to leave you to your own life.  Really, though, if you need or want something, anything, just let me know.