So I'm sitting here with my legs bouncing up and down at a ridiculous rate, wondering just what is going to happen in the future. And part of me is still caught up in a panic. An irrational one, I'll give it that, but something that is rather a pain to think about regardless. Then again, at least I've calmed down from several hours ago when the panic was coupled with tears and legitimate freaking out.
But I've calmed down. The pessimist in me was yelling that everything is going to go terribly and the world is going to fall apart and I will have 30 incurable diseases and die in horrible pain in five years. Even though most of that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Regardless, I think I've finally managed to get my brain under control, the rational part has begun to reason it out and make sense of it.
And yet, no matter how calm, collected, satisfied my brain may be, it seems that my body cannot take into account. This may in fact be screwing with me even more. Regardless, I know that I will be fine in the end. I know that I will be able to deal with whatever it is or isn't, I know that I will be fine. The thing about being a neurotic is that everything becomes a point of panic. I'm working at getting that under control. I think I'll get there. Eventually.
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