It's almost eleven pm. That leaves me with just about an hour to write a post. I have plenty of things to say. I almost wrote two posts already today. So why didn't I? Because they would both have hurt. They would have hurt me and they would have hurt others and the one thing I didn't want to do today was cause more hurt. And then I went and did it anyway.
I know, I'm tactless and foolish and irresponsible and uncontrollable. I make no sense and too many unreasonable demands. I cry over nothing then scoff at the most painful of things. I can't explain it. It's just the stupid way I am, and I wish I could change it more often than not. But I can't. So somehow I find myself saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things, and generally making a mess of anything and everything that comes before me.
Then I clean it up because I realized that I made a mess and that I didn't mean it and that god only knows how much of an idiot I am to keep shattering things like this. So yes, this is another depressed and angst-laden post. I'm sorry. It's just not in me to write anything else right now. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe it won't. I'll see.
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