Heartfelt Apologies

I've always felt that things aren't worth mentioning unless they are sincere.  I am afraid of overuse of phrases like "I love you" and "you mean the world to me" (to give some particularly specific examples) because of what they may convey and what I may or may not intend.  When it comes to expressing emotions or sympathies, then, I find myself more cautious, more hesitant, less open about how I feel, just because I need to be absolutely certain I mean something before I chance saying it. 

For that reason, I like to take my time to think. That's part of why I like letters so much.  They give me the opportunity to write and rewrite, to structure sentences until they are absolutely perfect so that I may express only exactly what I mean.  It also plays into what I do and don't say and when.  This, for example, is something I could have, possibly would have been better off having, written twenty hours ago.  But I didn't, because I needed to take that bit of time and reflect, analyze, come to terms with my emotions and myself. 

I'm a firm believer in free will.  I'm not going to argue the issue of fate/destiny vs. free will, but rather freedom of choice.  And I don't mean that in any sort of political sense, either.  I mean that as the freedom for an individual to do with one's life what one will.  That includes unwise decisions, and harmful ones, and ones that hurt me or anyone else.  Because ultimately, I think it is a person's choice what they want to do with their own life. 

I do have opinions on what is right and what is wrong.  I have thoughts and desires of my own, some selfish, others (hopefully) not so much.  They all influence what I want to see happen and what I do.  So I'm not saying that I don't try to influence people, that I don't want what I think is the best for everyone involved.  What I am saying is that in the end, I believe it comes down to the individual making the decision about their own life. 

To a point, this is specifically aimed toward a given topic, given people, a given general direction.  But I feel as though this can apply to a number of things, so I don't feel that additional explanation is necessarily required.  So I'll leave this as is.  I'm too tired to try to elaborate on my thought process and would like to curl up in bed shortly.  Perhaps I will finish this tomorrow.  Perhaps not.  We will see.  In the meantime, good night, sleep well, make the most of what you can get.