Agony

Have I titled a post Agony before?  I'm not sure.  I think I very well may have.  Regardless, it does not currently matter.  I really don't want to write today.  And yes, admittedly, it's not even that late.  Today is just one of those days.  And those who know me well will undoubtedly understand what I am writing here full well and why I don't want to type.

I feel terrible.  The past eight hours of my day have been nothing short of hellish, ridiculous, miserable.  What am I supposed to do on days like today?  I can barely keep my thoughts assembled for long enough to make any sense of anything.  No, scratch that.  Nothing works.  Nothing makes sense.  I give up.  I don't know anymore.  Today is just...terrible.  And that's about all I can say.

I spent three hours on my knees in front of a toilet.  I threw up five times in the space of an hour.  I was curled up in agony, almost crying.  I can deal with emotional pain, or even physical pain when I'm the one in control.  But this wasn't my doing.  I had no control over it.  And medicine wouldn't work.  That's the one thing I don't know if I can really deal with.  Am I justified in saying that today sucked?