Time For A Real Post

I love you.
I love you too.
Isn't that enough?
Clearly not.


Is it?  Could it be?  I don't know.  I really wish it was.  I wish that love could make everything work like that one line, "love makes the world go around."  It doesn't, though.  Does it?  If it is enough though, then why does that always happen?  Why doesn't it work?

An offhand remark.  A single gesture.  One simple shrug.  Merely an improperly accented word.  And then it all goes to hell.  I hurt and you hurt and then we both hurt and it escalates from there.  If love was enough, wouldn't it not hurt that much?  Shouldn't it not cut as deeply as it does?  Every time I say it, I mean it; I trust you enough to assume the same from you.  So why does it not work?

That was harsh.  It was harsher than it should have been and I knew it then and I know it now because otherwise I wouldn't remember it as clearly and it wouldn't burn and it wouldn't have scarred.  Are we both so broken that there is no way for it to not hurt?  Or is it just ignorance?  Or egotism?  Or is it really, sincerely, positively true that love is just not enough?

Because if it's not, then I want to know what is.  If I have to resign myself to the fact that I can't keep it together sufficiently to spend the rest of my life with anyone else, then so be it.  But I want to know.  More importantly, I want to know why.  I want to understand it, to know what I need to make it work, to fix it, to stop it from breaking and taking both of us down in the process.

I'm willing to do anything (I wonder at how much that statement means by now...) to make this work.  I just need to know what I can do and how to do it.  I want the hurt to stop, I want it all to work.  If love isn't enough, then so be it, tell me what is and I'll learn.  I just don't want this to fall apart.  I don't want to mess it up.  I love you.