Well Damn

Well this sucks.  And I mean it sucks a lot.  God damn it.  This is really bad.  I mean, it's basically what I had expected it to be, but that doesn't make it any better.  But still.  God. Damn.  It.  I'm going to get no end of hell for this.  I knew that before anyway, that's basically why I had a breakdown that day...but still.  I don't want to deal with that.  Especially not now.

I'm so not in the mood to deal with this right now.  I mean, I reacted better than I would have expected, and hey, it could have been a hell of a lot worse.  But, well, damn.  I'm so sick of messing everything up.  Every...single...little...thing.  I'm so sick of this.  I don't even know why.  What the hell is it with me this year that I can't do anything at all right?

I don't even know anymore.  I give up.  No, I don't.  That's not exactly an option at present.  So I'll rephrase that statement to be exactly what it should be: I really wish I could give up.  This sure as hell isn't worth it anymore.  I feel like I'm drowning under an infinite pile of work, and it's not going to get better.  This.  Sucks.  But whatever.  I have no choice now but to deal.