So I'm sitting here right now, tapping on the keys, having no idea what to write really, and wondering. And for the most part, I'm wondering why I still bother writing. Because to be perfectly frank, my writing has absolutely sucked lately. Even I wouldn't want to read it. Which tells you just how much I really shouldn't be writing. It's not even putting my thoughts out or making sense of anything or, well, just about anything. That bothers me. Quite a bit.
I don't want to just stop writing until I have anything better to say because I know myself. I know how unlikely I am to actually ever write then. That's probably the whole reason I started this blog and made myself write every single day. If I don't have something like this on a regular, routine schedule, or at least with a very regular requirement (like once a day), it's never going to get written. Or perhaps I'll write a bit here and a bit there, but the end result will be the same--it'll fall apart and I'll stop writing.
I don't want to do that because I think that more than once, writing here has made things better for me. It's helped me sort out my thoughts on various issues (even if the post themselves gave no indication of the presence of such concerns), it's led to me becoming more conscious of the way I write and things I do too much or too little of. Often enough, this isn't my best writing, but that still allows me to see aspects of my style and composition as well as to correct the errors I may have made.
Recently, I've just felt like this has been a waste of space. I used to write posts that had a point, or that I was legitimately proud of, or that I wanted people to read. And that really just hasn't been the case lately. I'll figure out if I do in fact want to continue this or not, but in the meantime, I have no real reason not to, so I guess I might as well. Apologies to anyone who still reads this for the absolutely terrible quality of posts lately. Here's hoping it gets better in the near future.
No comments:
Post a Comment