Grievances

I have two posts to write at particular points in time.  Two.  One of them I know the title of, the other only the general gist of the contents.  And they both deal with sorrowful topics.  Not that that's surprising considering that this is me, after all.  But in a way, it's rather sad.  I don't really wish I had happier topics to write about in the future.  The thought just strikes at times like this that a bit more happiness wouldn't hurt on occasion.

That may very well be the case.  The thing is, I've been happier recently than I had been for quite a while prior.  Many things have changed in my life.  Most of them have changed for the better.  I can't really think of any off the top of my head that have changed for the worse, although there probably have been a couple.  These past couple of days, or more specifically nights, have been odd.  They have left me confused and flustered and overwhelmed.

My thoughts have been racing for no good reason.  I've been thinking about any number of things and there has been nothing that could calm my mind.  That there is frustrating.  Lying in bed for any number of hours, unable to fall asleep because my goddamn mind refuses to calm down.  All of the good old tricks of yoga, meditation, relaxation, and just about anything else seem to take far too long to work.  Yes, I do wind up falling asleep eventually, but only hours later, leaving me with too much stress and not enough sleep.

While this break from everything has been nice and much appreciated, I'm more than ready for it to be over.  I need something to do on some form of schedule.  I need some sort of routine.  More importantly, I need everything that is currently lingering in the *near future* to hurry up and start already.  I need to get this transition over with and move on with my life.  This stress is causing me to lose sleep and get increasingly frustrated, and I'm sick of that.  

Anyhow, this has been a completely rambling and irrelevant post that I just wanted to hurry up and get done with.  So I guess that's that.  My apologies for not having anything better or more relevant to say, but I don't know what to say and my brain is hell knows where right now.