Weeks

Thinking ahead.  It can be argued that I do so too often.  I dwell in the future or in the past, depending on circumstance, and currently all of my thoughts are stuck on what happens next.  When will this end?  How stressful is this going to be?  Is everything going to work?  What will I have to make up as a result of such things? 

I don't know.  These are the things I can't keep track of, can't know.  They are all in the future.  They are beyond my control at present.  I cannot possibly know what will happen.  All I can do is prepare, buckle down, get ready for everything that may or may not happen.  Hopes, dreams, anxieties.  All of it hangs in the balance.  That sounds overdramatic, and yet...in a way, it is entirely true.

It's odd to think of what will happen next as opposed to everything that has happened.  Things that were once a big deal now seem like insignificant specks in the eternal flow of time.  While what happens in the next week will have a significantly greater effect on my future, after a while, I know that it will cease to be perceived as important in and of itself, it will merely be the consequences that affect me.

Yet looking forward toward it now, it seems almost like the biggest thing in the world.  It seems terrible yet wonderful, frightening yet enthralling.  Part of me just wants to get it over with so that I can stop worrying.  Part of me doesn't want to have to deal with it.  In the end though, I have no control over when it will take place.  I can simply take it as it comes and make the best I can of it.