Bent Not Broken

This was the title of my writing last night.  I'm not going to post it here because it not only betrays things about me but also reads in a way that shouldn't be floating around on the internet with any possible link to my identity, if only because of the people I currently associate with.  Having said that now, it's only fair that I explain what I mean.  That's not exactly what I'm going to explain, actually, but it applies. 

That's how I write.  Most of what I put down is sad, or angsty, or generally depressing.  Some of it probes topics people aren't generally comfortable discussing, reading, or sometimes even simply thinking about.  It's all part of me.  Any of my writing, no matter how good or bad, comes from me.  It draws on things I have seen, heard, lived, done, considered, wondered about.  Some of it is painful, even for me.  Some of it I don't really understand.  But it's there, so I write about it.

Many of the more depressing things I write don't apply to me right now.  Not in the same way that they used to.  Right now, I feel good about my life.  Things are going well.  I am happy more often than not, despite the fact that it's winter and I've been particularly prone to winter depression for years.  A lot of my writing right now, especially the more fictional works, does not tell the story of my current life.  It looks, at least indirectly, into my past. 

And yet, a lot of the things I write are still depressing and angsty and lay out things that people aren't comfortable with.  But that's what's easier for me to write.  First of all, the depression is always going to be a part of me, even if I don't feel particularly depressed or unhappy.  Second of all, dissatisfied topics are simply easier to write about.  There's a lot more expression, in my experience at least, that can be covered with sorrow, whereas happiness is, while not completely restricted, still less expressive than dissatisfaction. 

That's all my opinion, of course.  But it is, after all, my writing, so my opinion is what determines the way my writing goes.  Anyhow, this is an explanation for anyone who is worried about me because of the things I may write or anyone who is interested in how my thought process works in trying to crank out writing.  I hope it's worth something to someone.  Apologies if it's not.