It fits the initial author of that statement well. Days like today I begin to truly realize just how well it fits me too. Because it would appear that I don't appreciate how much I don't do something until I find it occupying the entirety of my thought process for what seems like an eternity. I guess that's how I figured this all out today, though. Through doing things I usually don't and making declarations I'm no longer ashamed of.
Begging. I don't like to do it. I usually don't do it. In part because I don't like to, but also in part because it's not something I'm often in the mood for. Begging strikes me as pitiful or pathetic or otherwise something that serves little to no purpose in the long run. Well, usually. Admittedly, that has its exceptions, but they seem to be rare and it seems to me that begging leads to fewer resolutions than reasoning things through.
I don't really know what happened today. I don't know how it happened, although I do know why it happened, and I don't know what, if anything, came out of it. At this point, I don't really need to know. Maybe in a couple of days or weeks when it's all over, I'd be interested to know what came to pass. But not right now. Right now I just need to sleep and I need this to go away and I need everything to be fine after a day like this.
I begged. In case I haven't mentioned recently, I don't usually beg. Maybe it was because I had no reason left in me, given that I was senseless at the start of the conversation anyway. Maybe it was just that something primal kicked in, although I don't know when I started considering begging to fall under the category of something primal. But hey, whatever...I'm just trying to make guesses at my emotional responses here.
Long story short, it was a long, long day. I begged, which I don't usually do. I cried. A lot. Which is something I seem to do fairly often these days. But it is what it is. I'm still here, still fine. I'll take what I can get.
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