If that's the case, then what does this make us all? Be it individuals or humanity or groups of people, we all discuss each of these in part, all on different occasions, in different companies, with different circumstances. And I'll be honest (as I try to be in all of my posts)--I spend most of my time discussing people. Does this qualify me as possessing a "small mind?" I dare to disagree, partially out of my own pride, but also because it's not that simple. The way I discuss people is that I try to understand the circumstances behind their decisions, the reasons for their actions, the thoughts that are ultimately the basis for their lives. Does this enter into the realm of ideas and thus register as the thought of a "great mind?" That's where this evidence seems to point, and yet I find myself entirely dissatisfied with this system of determination.
Perhaps then it is the fundamental idea of the quote that I disagree with. I guess it makes sense that the entire system of sorting people into three distinct categories based on what they discuss is what dissatisfies me first and foremost, then of course the matter of not taking into account the circumstances of why they discuss what they do. Or maybe it really comes down to the fact that it is yet another judgement passed by individuals who are not fully informed. We all do it, and yet we all still despise it--people making up their minds based on first impressions, or without a full understanding of the situation.
I could in theory now divulge on a rampage about human nature and passing judgement, but I rather doubt that it's a new concept or needs to be further ranted about, so I'll avoid that and instead turn my writing in another direction, one that I have been meaning to take for a while, but have never quite gotten around to, since I'm not sure that it merits its own post: the general concept of what I write here. So far, I've tried to write at least one post every day, and as far as subject matter goes, I've written what I've felt...if something was on my mind, if an interesting thought strayed into my head, I wrote about it. I've tried to let myself be rather free on the format, although I guess I have consistently been keeping to paragraphs, and I've kept to my word as far as writing the truth.
On the other hand, there are certain things which I would have loved to write but couldn't, for one reason or another. There are still secrets that I keep, even from the writing that I let spill onto my screen every day. Interestingly enough, I tend to write posts like the beginning of this one--something with a quote, or something disjointed from my own life--when these very secrets are the most on my mind, when things I wish to write are pressing and yet I know that they are things I must avoid. That brings me back as well to why I actually bother to write, knowing that few if any bother to read. Perhaps it is hope that someone does read and does care, or possibly because it's an effective way of organizing my thoughts, a commitment that makes me take the time to evaluate my thought processes and take time out of my day to make sense of it all.
As naive and falsely hopeful as the concept is, I want to change the world, I want to alter people's lives. Whether it's by staying up all night at the side of a friend who needs me or writing something for anyone to find and possibly gain an inkling of inspiration or satisfaction from, I don't want to just live through my life as though nothing matters. I may be an existentialist, but I am not a pessimist. Certainly nothing in life will matter after we all die, and it won't affect me after I myself die, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try to make the time that I do have on this world more worthwhile for myself or others. I hope that I am able to write things the way that I have read some--powerful, beautiful, true, emotional. That is my aspiration. I have been affected and changed by things that I have read, not only books, but also people's own stories, whether online or written out in an email. I can only try to emulate that sort of passion in my own words, but I'm certainly willing to do that. Some of my posts will inevitably be more meaningful and deeper than others, some may be a very obvious attempt to distract my mind from certain subjects, and still others may be inspirational to some and downright disagreeable to others. I won't let that affect me. So as I wrap up this long and meandering post, I'll simply say that I love writing what I do, I love taking the time out of my day to do this, whether it is appreciated or not, I need not know; I'm happy to do this for the sake of writing in itself.
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