Sorting Out

This next week is giving me a break. It is going to be a restful time, and I'm glad it's coming when it is because right now, I need it. I've spent a good half of the last week breaking down or recovering from breakdowns, and I need to figure some things out. I need the time to sort it out, put it all down and come to understand what's been going on so that I can fix it.

So that's what I'm going to be doing. I want to write. And I mean, I want to write a lot. I think that one of the first days that I have all to myself (which may not be until Wednesday, I have a feeling), I'm going to just sit down and write for a couple of hours. Whether I end up posting what I write or not depends on what ends up coming out, because there are still things that I'm not going to blog about. But the fact of the matter is, I'm going to take this week ahead of me, and use it fully. I'm going to figure things out and set a plan.

I've figured out from this week that I can't continue like this. For all the hell that it's been, I guess I'm at least grateful to have figured that much out. I need to set things out, concretely and reasonably. So all that stands between me and the writing I need to do is two more days and a bit of sleep-deprivation and work. But while that goes on, I'll deal with it. I don't think I'll be happy in these next two days, but I will be collected and reasonable.

I'm determined now to figure it out. I'm determined to fix wherever I have gone wrong and make it work. I want to come back to my daily life rested and repaired, fixed and healed. I'm not going to let myself be trampled on by the world any longer. So I'm going to take action. And while I realize that this is definitely not the best post I've written in a while, I'm hoping that better ones are forthcoming. Hopefully this next week gives me some revelations, realizations, or reflections that will make for interesting posts.