I can't do anything right anymore. Every single thing I do or try to do, I somehow manage to completely mess up. Everything that's supposed to work fails as soon as I approach it, everything that was already complicated gets that much worse. There is quite literally nothing at this point that I can do right.
I'm a failure. I admit it. As many years as that's been drilled into my head and never hit home, well now it has. Congratulations. You win. Here I am stuck in my failure because I can't do anything right, because I mess up absolutely everything, because I'm not capable of doing anything reasonable anymore.
I give up. It's not even worth the effort to try at this point. All I can do is stand back and watch everything crash and burn. I'm not going to be able to make it work anyway, so I'm not going to make the attempt. Call it pathetic, call it selfish; fine, you're right. And I just don't give a damn. Because here I am at the end of it all, drowning in my own failure.
Irina, you are an amazing person and a fantastic friend. Everyone has a bad day, or a bad week, but that doesn't mean you're a failure in every way! And by the way, you *totally* deserve a grade in MCB. You could use your essay talk about how memorization is not your strong suit but you still have a deep understanding of the functioning of the pathways we've studies.
ReplyDeleteSmile! (Seriously, it's amazing how much it'll cheer you up!)
-Tasha