Never Forget

But I promised. I promised, and I swore, and I made the dreadful oath that day. I said that I would never let it go, never let the feelings fade, never let everything fall apart. I looked through it all with tears in my eyes. I reread every single word that was ever exchanged, I tore myself to shreds each time I thought about it.

I wanted to feel. I wanted to remember what it was to care that much. I wanted to prove to myself that this was life and not some lucid dream. Dragging through the motions of every single day wasn't what made it real. What made it true, honest, understandable wasn't what it had been, but how it had been perceived.

Under every lie, behind sealed lips, through unbroken skin...maybe that's where it all lay. Maybe that's where the feeling really was. And that's what drove me to push past it, to scream the truth, to cut through the bitterness, to tear free of the world as it had been. I did everything. I tore down everything but the bare minimum to try and find what I sought.

I still didn't get there. It was worthless. There is no such thing as never. The concept of truth doesn't really exist. None of it really means anything in the end. What it all comes down to is that the clinging to something doesn't do any more than letting it go. Holding on to it doesn't make it mean any more.

But I still promised. I still whispered those words and carved the meaning into my soul. And I don't forget my promises. I told the world that I would never forget. I shed tears to seal the power of what had passed. It may not matter. It may not ultimately mean anything. It may just lead me further into hell, but that doesn't change anything.

I will never forget.