If...

If I started now, I know I wouldn't stop.
If I started, I would have to finish.
If I started, there would be no other choice.

Maybe that's what terrifies me most.
Knowing that I wouldn't stop.
Couldn't.

Or in the end, maybe that's what reassures me.

I don't know why I haven't yet.
Part of me really wishes I had.
But something's stopped me to this point.
How much longer it will act, I do not know.
It's probably better that I don't.