Fun

A year ago today, one year ago exactly, everything changed. It was strange, if only in that it didn't affect me half so much then as it really does now. It's one of those things that happens and only catches up to you after a while, in part because it is so unexpected, in part because it is so complex that it can't be comprehended in so little time.

And because of what happened one year ago today, I had been dreading this date for months now. I had been anticipating spending it alone, crying in a corner, trying to come to terms with everything that has happened in the past year. Needless to say, as can be guessed from the title of this post, this was not the case.

I had fun today. I let myself have fun with people, play games with them, laugh and smile and joke along with them. And I think that's what I really needed to do. I can't keep dwelling on what happened a year ago, I can't let it define who I am now. All I can do is accept it and deal with it, just move on with the rest of my life from here on out.

That's pretty much what I anticipate doing, too. I'm not going to let my past interfere with my future. Someone, I forget who, once said, "scars remind us what we've been through...they don't have to dictate where we're going." And that's definitely true. That's what I'm learning to live by right now. And I'm doing it by having fun.