Contentedness

I was talking to one of my closer friends recently about some things that have happened, and the results were...interesting (I know it's general, but it's all I can say; determine what it means for yourself). There's no sense in listing any particular details of the conversation, but the general idea was that I've actually been more or less happy recently.

What really struck me though, is when she said, "It's not like you're fluorescent, it's more like..." What she meant by fluorescent is basically an ecstatic overflow of happy or almost seemingly high euphoric emotion (long story, don't ask). And when she paused at the end of that, I offered her the word content. It turns out that's pretty much what she was looking for.

And she's right. I haven't been overly ecstatic at any point lately, but I have, on the whole, entered into a state of contentedness. Things aren't perfect. I still break down (take last night as evidence of that). But on the whole, I'm better off than I was. Overall, I can smile because I know that something actually works in my life...no matter how brief or transient it may be.

This is short-lived. The brief period when I can really enjoy it is quickly coming to an end. But I'm trying not to let that spoil the happiness I've recently found. The situation is far from ideal, and there is still a hell of a lot that can fall apart, especially in the near future. Regardless, I'm making the most of it. And right now, I am content.