Calm

I haven't wanted to write lately. Part of that is inevitably the fact that right now, I'm just absolutely exhausted. I can't think straight, and thoughts are escaping my mind at a ridiculous rate. But the other part of it also is that everything seems to have calmed down. There's nothing novel about which I feel a need to write, there is no extreme passion that I feel I need to express in any of my posts.

Which, I guess, explains why the past couple of days (if not weeks) have been so seemingly random, disjointed, and perhaps entirely and utterly irrelevant. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. And yes, I really do need to get some real sleep before I can reasonably expect to be able to get something sensible out of any of this, but still...I'm confused about it.

Life just seems to have calmed down. It's slow and smooth, and even the worst disruptions feel like nothing more than some very transitory, insignificant disruption amidst everything else. I still have moments when I'm ridiculously angry, upset, ecstatic, nervous, and pretty much any other emotion, but looking back on it, it all seems so insignificant.

Maybe this is some new sense of perspective I'm coming into, or maybe I really am just completely exhausted. Either way though, it's rather strange. I'm not sure what to think of anything anymore, really. It's almost like it's not even worth my time or effort to try and come up with an opinion.

In a way, I guess that's frightening, everything is becoming just mediocre, meaningless, completely insignificant. On the other hand, it's relaxing. For once, I'm not completely stressed out about everything and anything. Really, I'm more just confused. Although the confusion is such that I can ignore it quite nicely and let it float around in the back of my mind until moments like this when it comes to the surface.

This calm is interesting. I think that's about all I can really say for it right now. Not good, not bad, just interesting.