Scheme

I can sit here right now, and I can scheme. I can plot, I can plan, I can come up with a way to get away with exactly what I want. Right now, I know how I can be exactly where I want exactly when I want, and I know that I can get away with this. So why is it still even a question in my mind? Why am I still just vaguely considering this?

I know how to get away with this. It's not that I think I can or believe it would be interesting, it's that I know with absolute certainty that I can do this and nobody can stop me. So the question remains of why I haven't actually set my mind completely to going through with it. There are still doubts in my mind, and I'm trying to figure out why.

I don't have anything against undermining authority. In fact, I do it quite often as is, so I don't need the added encouragement. I don't have anything against spending the kind of money involved in this...it's really not much considering how much I go through on a regular basis. Plus, I want to get out of here. I want to get away and do something for myself for once, to not care what anyone else has to say about it.

Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't. I guess only time will tell, in the end, just what it is I do or don't end up doing. Because right now, I'm just not certain. The temptation remains, and will for a good while still, if I know myself at all, but whether I give in or not is an entirely different question. I guess I'll wait and see.