Maybe

I don't know why. Because I needed to. It's the same reason I didn't stay in bed after I found I couldn't go to sleep. I needed to get up, I needed to do something. And maybe I shouldn't have, or maybe I can convince myself that I didn't need to. But in the end, does it really matter why? Does it make a difference what odd thought process it was that drove me where it did?

No. Because here I am today, more awake than I should be, happier than is permissible considering my emotional state last night, and still extremely confused. But I don't doubt the decision I made. So yeah, maybe it hurts to walk a bit more than usual today, and maybe I shouldn't be secretly priding myself on that fact.

In the end though, I'm happier. I'm calmer. I'm making fewer mistakes. Things are looking like they might work again. That's what I meant when I said that I needed to. I could have been just fine even if I hadn't. But I would have woken up the same mess I initially went to bed as last night. And that's one thing I'd rather not do. So here I am, awake, rational, and absolutely satisfied with what I did.