Life is Confusing

I'm sorry for all of the ranting, rambling, self-discovery-oriented, confused posts that have been finding their way onto my screen lately. I really am. But right now, I'm at a point in my life where I think I need to figure something out before anything else falls apart. And because of that, these thoughts are rather occupying my mind. So I'll get this over with now, and write yet another one of those posts...sorry again.

I don't know what it is. I can be laughing one minute and crying the next. I may not be aware of why I'm laughing or crying, but all I know is that I am. And where the transition lies...I couldn't tell you if I tried. All I know is that one minute I'm happy, the next I'm depressed. Maybe it's just normal mood-swings. Or maybe it's telling me that something is wrong.

Seriously though, when I started writing this post less than a minute ago, I was on the verge of tears, and now...now I sit here smiling, relaxed and rather happy about the way things are going. This may be partially linked to the fact that I have a headache, but I can't put it all completely onto pain. So what else is it then? I guess that's the question.

Lately, I've been trying to figure out why I do some things. I've been searching for an explanation of how I reach certain decisions, the reasoning behind some of my actions, and the causes leading to various thoughts that I may have. I may not have gotten anywhere yet, but at least I'm working on it, at least I'm starting to lay it all out and make some sense of it all. That in itself is a start and I'm not going to let anything stop me from progressing.

I don't know what's going on right now. I have no idea how to make sense of my life. Things are coming and going, and sometimes I feel powerless to stop them. But in this moment, I understand that I just have to accept what's happening, I just have to make the most of it. That's all I can expect from life. If nothing more, that should help me right now. Or so I hope...but either way, it's worth a try.