Variety

Today was interesting, I guess. I rather want to write something interesting, something worthwhile, something powerful or moving or something. But this isn't the day for that. I'm not depressed enough (thank goodness) to write anything powerful in that direction, nor have I ever been that good at writing overly cheerful texts. So I guess this is just going to be rather a reflection on my day, because I think that would be good for me right now.

The past couple of days...or perhaps weeks now, have been odd, not the best, confusing, strange, I don't really know how to even describe it. I'd say I haven't been myself, but that's not exactly the right way to put it. I've been frustrated, upset, confused...I think confused describes it best. And I still haven't really worked anything out.

But at the very least, everything is calming down. I'm able to breathe again, to talk to people normally, to not lose control of myself and the world around me. I realize that I've never had control over the world around me, but the various aspects of it that I do have control over normally, I feel like I haven't had a grip on for the past few days.

Although at least I think that everything is starting to work out, too. Maybe it's no better than it was before, maybe it doesn't make any more sense. But I feel like I have some amount of control, some measure of self-restraint. And that's a good change. I like it.