To Stay

Why did you stay?

The thing is, I never really had a choice in that matter.  My choice was one of whether I was going to go or not.  It was that simple.  Once I made the decision to go, I had no choice but to stay where I put myself.  In a way, it was inadvertent.  It was a consequence.  I can't say it's a bad consequence, but it is one nonetheless.  I'm happy with that.

I don't know why I'm still here.  Most of the time, I don't know why I'm here.  Sometimes, I don't even want to be here.  But I guess it's all worth it.  Maybe it's not, but that's fine.  I'm here, in the end.  I'm happy with that fact.  If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't be where I am right now.  I rather like that place in my life.  That's probably just because I'm optimistic about life at the moment.

I know this is incoherent.  I know it's not really covering much of anything.  I'm just saying hell knows what about I don't know which.  But the fact is, I'm still here.  I like being here right now.  It's better than anywhere else I could be at the moment, no matter how hellish it is sometimes.  This is nice.  And I wouldn't have any of it if I wasn't here.  So I guess I'm happy with it.