Scars

Scars may fade, but they never truly disappear. The experiences underlying them may have passed away entirely years before, but the scars are still there as reminders. They serve to bring everything back in a flood of memories. Beneath every scar, there is a story. It may be fascinating, enthralling, terrifying, or surprising. Regardless, each scar has a tale to tell, be it of cowardice or courage, of weakness or of strength. Scars tell us about the battles we have fought, against nature, against others, and against ourselves.

Somehow, patterns on the skin are never really that simple. It's all about the experiences we've had; the days we will always remember, the nights we will never forget. Looking back into the past, be it because of a scar or not, never fails to bring back a surge of emotions and memories, a remnant of the time that was. The past is not shrouded in mystery as is the future, but it lies before us, anchored firmly down, leading clearly back, unobstructed. But the distance makes the shapes grow pale and the emotions run together to the point where we can no longer distinguish what has been from what we merely imagined.

So here I stand, looking back on the path I took to get to this moment, and I wonder what could have been different? What would have happened had I taken a step to the side at any point? I know I can't go back and change what's done, but that doesn't stop me from wondering. At the same time, I turn around and look to my future, covered in mists, entirely uncertain. I ponder what may happen, what scars I will bear on my body and my heart when the time comes to that. These scars will never really disappear and more will be added. Perhaps when it comes time, I will be nothing more than a patchwork of scars--the stories and experiences they relate to the world, the secrets they bear and cover beneath the skin.

As I look on what has been and is to come, I can take a deep breath and refocus on the present, because I've lived in the past before, and I've lived in the future, but none of that ever really works too well. So back I go to the moment that I'm in right now, the work and people who surround me, and leave my pondering of the river of time behind me, for the moment, at least.