I've been so behind the past couple of days...ugh, I hate being this scatterbrained. But then again, something happened five minutes ago that completely made today worthwhile, despite all the ups and downs and hell knows what else. I found kindness somewhere where I did not expect to see it, I received a gift that I have absolutely no right to claim. But even so, it has been offered to me and I cannot decline, either. So this wonderfully miraculous occurrence of five minutes ago has given me a bit of a new perspective on the day and how it's passed.
Somehow, everything is automatically better. Maybe it's the pleasant surprise of it all that triggered this mood, or maybe it's the fact that I'm so close to the holidays. Normally, the months between June and December drag ever so slowly with no holidays of major consequence to my family. But this year, it's all different. Where has the time gone? What happened to those six months that I normally long to escape? Even now, I find myself frantically looking for opportunities to see my closest friends in the next couple of weeks before even more time slips away under my nose.
I don't think I'm quite ready to start reflecting on the past year yet. After all, that's what I get to do as it gets nearer to the 30th or the 31st. But I can't help but think about how far I've come and everything that's happened. It's amazing how much things have changed and I've matured. Or at least it looks to me like I have. In the end it's all subjective anyway. I know, though, for a fact, that had I been in this situation a year ago, I would not have been able to handle it, or at least not nearly as well as I am now. Many people have told me that I deal with things well, and while I tend to doubt that when I'm at my worst (and it gets pretty bad), now is one of the times when I understand what they mean. Thank you to all of those people who never lost faith in me, even through all the hells I may have gotten myself into.
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